LAUNCHING GALADRIEL

An expectant mother settles in for a peaceful last month of pregnancy. Her unborn child however, has other ideas as she invents an imaginary playmate to relieve her boredom and propel her onward.


Madisson Hemmingway settled into her last month of pregnancy with the comfortable feeling that all was in place. She’d done all the right things; read the books, done the exercises and started early with as many ‘in the womb’ practices as she felt comfortable with.

She’d envisioned circles, played music, and spent hours with a speaker up against her belly playing the super-deluxe version of “Your Baby Can Read” and other child-oriented tutorials (a practice she recently quit after catching herself sounding out the words “ov-er-ripe-end” to the produce manager at the local grocery store).

Her child-hood dream, now stowed gently into her pregnancy suitcase, has Surreptitiously resulted in the only guilty pleasure that remains; Her obsessive re-running of women’s gymnastics video. Even so, her final plan is now to rest in peace until her little princess arrives.

Inside her swollen belly, baby Galadriel Hemmingway (monikered from the moment the sonogram first confirmed her parts, after her mother’s favorite storybook character,) grows restless.

In Glady’s early days, her Mommy was busy. She traveled to fascinating places. She moved fluidly, while also providing bouncy stimulation for Glady’s growing cortex to appreciate. Her voice expressed excited tones which were responded to by a patchwork of energetic voices, “Is der a wittle bitty baby in your tummy?” to which Glady hollered out from the womb,

“Hell Yeah!” parroting her Uncle Frank.

More recently, Glady’s world seemed to slush by with nothing but occasional bursts of heat from a full-bodied Mexican dinner to excite her. Even the noisy variances outside had condensed to two solitary voices and mundane household sounds. Her synapses begin to fire in an effort to amuse herself.

Recalling an array of childish words and voices heard through Mommy’s stomach wall she mimics to herself, “Miss Cupcake, will you be so kind as to join me for tea with dinnaah? I have your fav-or-ite blend of lav-en-daaah, peeping hot and ready to sip! And meat.” (Gladys loved the sound of 'meat')

“My de-aah Glady, I’d be happy to dine, and I’d adore some meat. Where should I sit?” Cupcake’s voice replies in her head.

“Why, do sit right here, next to Mommy’s bladder. I’ll make room,” Galadriel replies scooching over against a kidney.

Feeling the pressure outside, Mommy Madisson wets her pants. At her startled gasp, husband Jerry looks up from his newspaper, “I told you not to wait so long, when you need to go, go sooner.” Madisson rolls her eyes, deciding to finish the bowl of cereal resting on her stomach before heaving herself up.

“Oh, Glady, I love your woooomb, it’s so wroomy” raves Cupcake.

“Why Cupcake, it‘s wroomy enough for two! Move in, and we can be BFF’s!”

“Wonderful girlfriend! I’m in! What shall we do first?”

“CARTWHEELS!” squeals Galadriel.

“Cartwheels…?”

“I‘ll show you!” exclaims Glady, illustrating a tumble.

The bowl resting on Madisson’s stomach launches across the room splattering Jerry’s newspaper.

“I didn’t mean to piss you off,” remarks Jerry, “I was only saying…”

“Shut up,” snaps Madisson, “That wasn’t me.”

“Honey, you can’t blame EVERYTHING on the baby,” sighs Jerry, who is rewarded with a poisonous glare.

“Feels like there’s two babies in there. Try this yourself sometime,” she snaps heading for the bathroom, leaving her husband to mop up the Cheerios.

“If we both stand we can see better,” Cupcake tells Glady, stretching to full height.

“I’ve seen everything in here,” sighs Glady.

“I haven’t,” says Cupcake. She yanks Glady to a standing position bashing both their heads against a throbbing mass up above.

Madisson, perched on the toilet, doubles over. “Jerry!” she pants.

“What’s that tunnel down there?” Cupcake wonders aloud. She pokes her ten fingers into the darkened cavity below causing Madisson to wince.

“That’s mommy’s tunnel of love,” Glady replies running a toe along the rim. Madisson emits a low groan.

“Let’s go in!” chirps Cupcake.

“I‘m waiting for the right time.”

Cupcake dives for the opening, “Feels right to me!”

Madisson vomits.

Glady grabs Cupcake by the ears, “ME FIRST!”

Cupcake wriggles free, “NO ME!”

“I was here first!” Glady stomps her feet.

Madisson’s water breaks on her way out the bathroom door.

“But I found the tunnel!” Cupcake counters, giving Glady a shove, “Hey! Do you hear the ocean?”

“You were my BFF!” Glady cries shoving her foot in her best friend’s face.

Cupcake reaches around her waist and begins to tickle, all the while wiggling herself into the opening. Glady thrashes, worming her way in beside her.

The two BFF’s find themselves face to face, wrestling to gain first position. Looking directly into each other's eyes, they burst out laughing.

“You’re adopted!” Cupcake giggles.

“La-la-la-la,” Glady intones, hands over her ears.

Madisson’s consciousness is swallowed by the developing din.

“How long has she been mooing like that?” questions the admitting nurse.

“Twenty-six,” mumbles Jerry.

“Minutes?” asks the nurse.

“Miles,” he mutters.

“Watch ME Mommy!” Glady cries out as she twirls into pirouette accidently wedging her BFF deeper into the tunnel. “Crap!...” she begins, until Cupcake clamps hands over her mouth.

Bringing her knees to her chest Glady kicks outward, sending her imaginary friend hurtling into space. All alone now, she looks for a way out.

“Cupcake, come back! Which way do I go now?” She calls into the darkness.

“Go forward. I’d show you if I could go first,” calls Cupcake from a distant place-enta.

“No way Sweetbread!” Glady chuckles, practicing a frog kick she learned from the am-phi-bi-an in ‘Kermit’s Swimming Lesson’. “I’m going for the gold. Watch!”

And with a prize-winning triple-pretzel-twist, she plunges head-first down the tunnel toward her future.

"I'll meeet you on the other siiide..." Cupcake Calls after her... "When you're like, fiiive."

“Honey, the instructor told us if you just breathe like this it won‘t hurt at all, so follow my lead… pfooo-pfooo,” coaches Jerry.

“JERRY DARLING, IF YOU SAY ONE MORE DAMN WORD I’LL TEAR YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND YOU’LL NEVER BREATHE AGAIN!”

“Yes dear. Of course.”

"PUSH!" Shouts the doctor.

“ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!” Bellows Madisson.

"OhWow." Jerry exhales, realizing suddenly he's been holding his breath since the last contraction.

Nurse Golden watches the clock on the birthing room wall. A minute-and-a-half later she announces, “Baby girl Hemmingway. Time of birth, eleven fifty-eight p.m.
She's a keeper!"


-© by taree Belardes 9/19/2010
NYC Midnight
First round entry challenge2
Genre; Comedy
location; a tunnel
object; a gold watch
word limit; 1,000